


WHAT HAPPENED TO BULLETPROOF WEEKS IN YOUR ARMS?

by TopherIsATribble



Category: Shinedown (Band)
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M, Multi, Separation Anxiety, TW: Slight drug reference, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6360979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopherIsATribble/pseuds/TopherIsATribble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brent is having trouble when he thinks of Zach and Zach isn't by his side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	WHAT HAPPENED TO BULLETPROOF WEEKS IN YOUR ARMS?

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, so I've been working on this for months and it isn't that great but I finally finished it! This is my first of hopefully many Shinedown fics and I hope at least someone likes it. Title is from the song Bulletproof Weeks by Matt Nathanson, I suggest you give it a listen.

Today was the day. They were wrapping up a long tour and then they all got to go home. Tonight was their last show, and none of the guys could be more excited. The tour bus was starting to feel more cramped, feelings were running high and patience was starting to run low. All of them were exhausted, and both needed and deserved this break.

As they all stepped off the bus and into the fresh air, smiles were plastered across weary, tried faces at nine in the morning. Barry and Eric moved off aside, continuing the conversation they had been having before they had gotten off at their destination, while Zach and Brent stayed close to each other as had become the norm.

Usually, Brent and Zach would speak of little things, like the weather, or how quiet the ride had been, or the fact that they were hungry. Today, however, the topic of conversation was how amazing their last show of the tour was going to be before they took a short break before going off as a duo for a short tour themselves. Both wore excited grins as they spoke, one over the other.

“I can’t believe it, we finally get a little break-“

“I know, right? Plus this place always has SO much energy-“

“Right? Isn’t it the greatest? Like what a fucking way to get to end the tour-“

“It’s the best feeling ever, Zach,” Brent finally said, grinning as their names were called for sound check. Zach could only grin back as they started to make their way over to the stage. Both men loved sound checks almost as much as playing for a crowd. It was their time to screw around and play for themselves, to ty things out and have a little fun without having to perform. It was fun, plain and simple. And this one was no different. The time almost seemed to fly past as they finished their sound check and the stage setup.

After their sound check, there was a short bit of alone time and then a time to meet the fans, another fun part of touring. Brent and Zach were inseparable, almost attached at the hip during every meet and greet. Some of the more in-tune fans noticed, but most often, it was just attributed to the fact that Brent and Zach were really good friends, like brothers almost. This meet and greet, they were closer than ever, as though it was the last time they were ever going to see each other. After all, it was only supposed to be a week or two away from each other before getting back together again. It was impossible for the fans to sense, but Eric and Barry couldn’t help but steal glances at how unusual this level of closeness was for a meet and greet.

Soon, the fans were all through the line, and the guys had about a half an hour until they actually played. Their normal backstage routine wasn’t interrupted, but Brent and Zach were still pretty much inseparable. And soon enough, they were onstage, and playing, and they were all over each other, not even for the crowd but just because they didn’t want to be any bit farther from each other than they had to. There were more stage kisses in this show than there had been any of the other ones this tour, and Brent barely made his way to Eric for distraction by being close to Zach. It wasn’t something that the typical fan would notice beyond the fact that Zach and Brent were very close, but a fan that had seen them perform before would have noticed far more that Brent was almost neglecting his other bandmates.

The show ended to the loudest applause all tour, the men all having played their hardest to an extremely energetic crowd, like it would be their last show ever. And at the end came the words that everyone knew from the singer’s mouth, “It’s never goodbye, it’s just till next time.” And the show came to a close and they exited the stage and took their time to breathe. And soon enough, Zach and Brent were hanging all over each other again, causing Barry and Eric to exchange a curious glance.

“Are you two going to be okay?” Barry asked, cocking an eyebrow, as Eric nodded along. Sure, Zach and Brent were close, but this… This was a whole new level of it.

“We’re fine,” Zach and Brent insisted at the same time. Brent remained quiet as Zach spoke up. “We’re just going to miss each other, that’s all. We’re gonna miss you guys, too, even if it’s only a week or two.” Brent nodded his agreement and hugged Zach close a moment.

Barry’s eyebrow softened slightly, though his look was still doubtful. Still, he accepted the hug that came his way from Brent, and then Zach, as did Eric. They all had a ride together to the airport, and then would be going their separate ways for two weeks. And for most of that ride, Zach’s head was on Brent’s shoulder and the two were still all over each other.

Soon enough, they reached the airport, and all had their things, ready to get on their separate planes after hugging each other goodbye one last time. Zach was headed back to Memphis, Brent to LA, Eric to Charleston, and Barry to Jacksonville. And Brent’s flight was the first to leave, and it was so hard for him to pry himself away from Zach. 

Soon enough, Brent’s plane was taking off, and as soon as they were in the air, he turned to show Zach the cute dog he had found in this magazine. As he did so and realized that Zach wasn’t there, he noticed a tightness in his chest. Everything around him felt hot, like he was burning, and tears began rolling down his cheeks. His complexion paled, and his heart began to race. He felt nauseous, and started clawing at the seatbelt as the pilot announced they could take them off and he found himself heading toward the bathroom. He tried to relieve the tightness in his chest; it wasn’t until he had splashed some water on his face that he could breathe again. All in all, he figured he had been in there about ten minutes, and as he flushed the toilet (so people wouldn’t think he was just in there for the privacy) and returned to his seat, he thought that was that.

The rest of the flight went smoothly, and as he got home all he wanted to do was sleep. And sleep he did, and he thought that was that. And the next morning, he awoke, made some coffee, and went to get ready to eat and work out and he thought about how much fun he and Zach were going to-

That did it. Brent’s chest got tight again, and this time, he was standing, and he got dizzy and nauseous as he stumbled to the bathroom, kneeling and bowing his head to the porcelain gods as he gagged, trying to catch his breath. His heart was racing and he got a chill, and more hot tears ran down his face. His empty stomach lurched and he whimpered as he tried to relax, get past this. After about twenty minutes in this position, his heart began to slow, and he could breathe once more, although they were heavy, short breaths until he finally managed to calm down completely. 

It was Zach; Zach was the problem. Or, rather, being away from Zach was the problem. Today was their first day apart; Brent had no idea how on earth he could make it through another thirteen days of this. He couldn’t tell Zach; Zach would worry and do something he shouldn’t to come and be with Brent or get Brent out there with him. He couldn’t tell Eric; the bassist was far too cool-headed to really understand this kind of need for somebody. That left him with Barry; Brent trusted his oldest friend, and Barry was always good at giving advice. Brent nodded to himself at this thought as he stood and moved to get himself a glass of water. As he did so, he looked at the clock, to make sure he would be able to catch Barry without bothering him.

Brent grabbed his cell phone and dialed Barry’s number, swallowing as he listened to it ring. He tapped his foot nervously, impatiently as Barry picked up on the third ring.

“Brent, are you okay?” The first words out of Barry’s mouth were words of concern; he knew Brent wouldn’t be calling this soon after separating unless something was wrong, since Barry and the others had already texted each other that they had all gotten home safe.

“No,” Brent managed, his voice wavering as tears filled his eyes. “I… Barry, I need some advice, and I figured you’d be the best one to ask, and-”

Barry cut him off. “Brent, calm down, breathe.” He waited until Brent had done so and he could hear smoother, calmer breathing on the other end of the line. “Now, slowly, tell me what’s wrong and I’ll see if I can help.”

Brent paused, nodding although the other couldn’t see him. “I… It’s Zach. At first, I didn’t realize it, but I was having trouble breathing on the plane and all as soon as I took off yesterday, and it just happened again in the bathroom, and it’s all because he’s not here, and I feel like shit, and I don’t know what to do…”

“Brent.” Barry cut him off again. “I want you to listen to me. It sounds like you’re having panic attacks. I don’t know how you traced it to Zach, but it’s going to be okay. It’s only a few more days. I think that maybe, you should see someone.” 

“I know it’s Zach, both times were because I thought of Zach, what do you mean, see someone? I can’t see Zach…” Brent’s words were rapid fire, anxious, as Barry cut him off once again.

“Brent. By someone, I mean maybe a psychiatrist. This isn’t healthy. I know you can’t see Zach, I know that you care about him, but if you’re going to keep having panic attacks, maybe this will help.”

Brent swallowed as he heard Barry’s words. “I… you think?” While wary, Brent would trust Barry with his life. If Barry thought this was a good idea, then it was probably a good idea to give it a shot.

“Yes, I do,” Barry said on the other end of the line. “It can’t hurt you, you really have nothing to lose.” 

Brent couldn’t fault his logic, and nodded, even though he still couldn’t be seen. “Okay,” he said cautiously. “I’ll do it. And Barry?” 

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll see you in a couple weeks.” Brent heard the click as Barry hung up the phone. He moved to look up the number of a new psychiatrist, see if he could get in.

The next day, Brent walked away from the new shrink’s office with a prescription for anti-anxiety meds and a recommendation to go through talk therapy. He was upset with himself that it had come to this, that he needed medication to even deal with being away from Zach. It was painful, shameful in his mind, to need that kind of assistance. Sure, others needed it, but him? He wasn’t supposed to. He should have been able to deal with two weeks.

Day by day, the last twelve until the guys came to Los Angeles went by slowly. The medication helped, it seemed, but it was still hard for Brent to find himself able to breathe when he thought of Zach. And on the last day, he made his way to the airport to wait for the guys, who were arriving one by one. The first to arrive was Eric, who was privy to the situation for Barry’s confidence, and while he was concerned for Brent, he didn’t make any kind of a deal about it. The next to arrive was Barry, who, when he arrived, gave Brent a big hug and told him it was going to be okay, that he would be there to help, and that it was okay to need help. Brent was grateful for Barry’s voice of reason.

Zach arrived last; he had decided to take a later flight so he could sleep in, but when he arrived, he looked as though he hadn’t slept at all. He had flung himself at Brent for a hug, holding him tight, each refusing to let the other go. Zach had no idea of what had transpired on Brent’s end of things. However, as they all went to Brent’s place (which had a lot of guest rooms for the one night; Barry and Eric would be spending nights in a hotel otherwise while they got down to business on their new album while Zach wanted to stay with Brent), Zach was clinging to Brent more than ever. Brent was a little out of it, his anti-anxiety meds causing him to be a little less aware than normal, and Zach picked up on it, while Barry picked up on Zach’s clinginess.

“Brent, are you okayyyy?” Zach whined as Brent drove them back to his place. He had called shotgun, of course, and while he was the smallest and could easily fit in the back, Barry and Eric had thought it wise not to separate them any longer. 

“I’m fine, Zach, just a little tired is all,” Brent lied, although he was forever grateful to have Zach here again. But he was still upset and something in him told him that the doctor’s recommendation to continue the medication even after they had been reunited was worth it despite the fact that he hated that he was taking it.

Zach frowned but grasped Brent’s hand, and Barry took note of that mentally. (Eric had fallen asleep with his head against the car window in the 5 PM rush hour traffic.) He resolved that a conversation needed to be had with the two, preferably when Eric was awake and around so he would have someone else to back him up.

Eventually, they reached Brent’s place, with Barry waking Eric and Brent getting out to help get luggage inside. He was walking slowly, tired from the traffic and a little less upbeat with the anti-anxiety medication. He got the rooms all set up for everyone, and asked if they wanted to order a pizza or something before they all headed to bed.

Zach followed Brent around like a dog, hugging him close every chance he got, even hanging onto him as Brent called in an order for pizza for the four of them, fetching things as needed. The night moved by both quickly and at a snail’s pace, with the pizza arriving before they knew it but everything else seeming like it was being done so slowly.

Eventually, the four of them had eaten two large pizzas together, ready to work out and work some of it off the next day, as they headed off to bed. Brent headed to bed last, making sure everything was good and together for everyone.

At 4:03, however (the irony, Brent thought), he was awakened to his door opening and the smallest member of the bed stepping in. “Can’t sleep?” Brent mumbled tiredly to Zach, sitting up lethargically and flipping on the bedside lamp to see the guitarist nod quickly.

“I’m sorry,” Zach said. “I was wondering if we could maybe share the bed or the couch or something like on tour, when we can’t sleep.” 

Brent couldn’t help but smile as he nodded at Zach. “Sure,” he said. “C’mere.” He patted the bed next to him, waiting for Zach to walk around and climb in. And soon enough, they were snuggling together once Brent had turned off the light, Zach’s arms tight around Brent and Brent gently draping his own arm over Zach.

The next morning, both awoke to the smell of breakfast in each other’s arms. Brent smiled as he got up to see Barry making breakfast, letting Zach climb out of bed on his own to deal with the tiredness from his flight and not sleeping until damn near 4:30 in the morning. Eric was already downstairs drinking coffee and flipping through the TV channels.

However, when Zach climbed out of bed, he found the prescription bottle next to Brent’s bed, concerned. Prescription bottles and Brent were concerning. Without reading the label, he brought them downstairs after getting dressed, interrupting the gentle laughing between Barry and Brent in the kitchen. “Brent… What are these?”

Brent froze as he heard his name and the jingle of pills against a bottle and both he and Barry turned, Eric muting the television curiously. Brent swallowed anxiously, crossing his arms and beginning to tap his foot, glancing at Barry. Barry nodded to him, as though telling him it was okay. Brent swallowed and turned back to Zach. “They’re, uh… anxiety pills.” He hoped the answer would be enough and moved to turn back to his conversation with Barry as Zach spoke again.

“Brent, why in the hell do you need anxiety pills? Is something wrong? I… You and prescription pills haven’t mixed well in the past-”

“Zach! I’m not… Doing anything stupid, alright? I just… I was dealing with panic attacks and so I went to a shrink and they told me I had anxiety and they gave me those. It’s a legitimate prescription, alright?” Brent looked at Barry, his eyes pleading for backup.

“Why were you having panic attacks? I’ve never seen you have one before. What happened? I knew I shouldn’t have gone back to Memphis-”

“Zach!” Barry said sharply. “Brent is okay. I promise you. This is up to him to tell you and you aren’t making it any easier on him to explain.”

Brent looked at Barry once more, thanking him silently with his expression. “Zach, I… I’ve been dealing with separation anxiety, and the shrink said it probably stems from generalized anxiety beyond that, and so she gave me those and told me to keep taking them. They’ve been helping, I swear, the panic attacks have stopped…”

“And you’ve been a walking zombie since I got here! This isn’t you! I shouldn’t have gone back home, I knew something was going to go wrong-”

“Zach!” Barry reprimanded once more. “I’ve been meaning to talk to both of you, and I know Eric agrees with me, but what you’re doing right now? This is classic separation anxiety too, Zach, although maybe not as badly as Brent’s been hit with it. This codependency… Maybe you should talk to someone too. And Brent, as far as the zombie thing goes… He’s right. I think YOU need to talk to your shrink about a lower dose.” Barry shook his head to clear it.

Zach froze in place, thinking, and Brent swallowed, nodding. “I... Really?” Zach asked Barry, and both he and Eric nodded. 

“You guys have both been having problems,” Eric piped in. “We just want it to be easier on both of you. And we all know to make sure that any medication use doesn’t get out of hand. Okay?” Barry nodded in agreement.

Zach hesitated before nodding. “Okay, I’ll see someone… As long as you guys promise to make sure that none of this gets out of hand.”

“We promise,” Eric and Barry said in unison. “Now give those back to Brent, I doubt he’s taken one yet today,” Barry said.

Zach nodded and handed the pills back, watching Brent carefully pull one out and set it on the counter, moving to put the bottle up in a cabinet. 

Brent stared at the pill anxiously, frowning. He really did hate that he had to take these. It was Barry’s action of getting him a glass of water that gave Brent the strength to take the pill after that confrontation. He hung his head in shame, excusing himself and stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, or, well, as fresh air as the LA smog would allow.

Barry finished the food and set it aside, telling Zach and Eric to help themselves before stepping outside to talk to Brent. “Hey, Brent, come on, it’s going to be okay… He’s just worried about you.”

“I’m in love with him, Barry,” Brent replied bluntly, quickly, tears falling. “I don’t want to upset him. But… Something tells me she was right, and that I need help for all the anxiety I’ve been having and it’s really been there all along, Barry, I-”

Barry cut him off with a hug. “It’s okay… And if you are, you should tell him… I somehow doubt you’ll upset him by telling him that. And you do need a little help, Brent, and that’s okay.” He held Brent tight until the tears stopped flowing. “There you go… It’s all going to be okay.”

Brent sniffed and wiped his eyes. “I… I trust you.” He nodded and tried to catch his breath. “We… We should head in and eat before they eat everything.” He sniffed before chuckling softly through tear-blurred sight.

Barry smiled and nodded. “Yeah, we should. Come on.”

The men returned inside, where they all had breakfast. Zach was on his phone almost the entire time, their normal routine of proximity continuing, even though Zach wouldn’t sit more than an inch away from Brent. 

Soon enough, the day had passed through without any major events and Barry and Eric were going to get their hotel rooms, with Zach staying at Brent’s house. And soon enough, the two were alone for the night, sitting on the couch and watching TV with sodas in hand.

“Zach, I… I gotta tell you something,” Brent said and Zach eyed him curiously.

“Yeah?”

“Zach… I… I don’t know how to say this, but…”

“Brent, come on, it’s okay…”

Brent hesitated, fighting with himself before saying, “Zach, I love you.”

Zach shrugged. They all said it to each other all the time back stge. “I love you too, man, we all do.”

“No, Zach, I…” Brent hesitated before pulling Zach into a kiss.

Zach froze surprisedly before reciprocating, his hand making its way to gently cup Brent’s cheek.

Brent pulled away nervously as he looked at Zach, biting his lip.

“Oh…” Zach said. “Oh.” 

Brent looked back at him, expression crestfallen. “Zach, I’m sorry, I-”

Zach cut him off by pulling him into another kiss. This one was deeper, more passionate, nothing short of the most loving kiss Brent had ever had and Zach had ever given. And soon enough, Zach pulled away. “I love you too, Brent.”

Brent moved to hug Zach close, tears falling. “Don’t ever give up on me.”

“I won’t,” Zach promised.

The two of them remained close on the couch for the rest of the night, falling asleep with Zach in his favorite position, head in Brent’s lap.

The following days got easier for the two; Brent got his dosage adjusted and Zach learned that he could get through it a little easier by talking it out. Barry and Eric were glad to see their friends doing better.

The next album was written through pure heart, including songs that had developed through their struggles. Threat to Survival was so real to them and was all about their way of making it through. 

Brent and Zach’s love for each other continued to grow, and within a month, they were truly dating, and neither had been happier. Eric and Barry couldn’t be happier for their friends, and were glad that they had more time to spend together in their own friendship as well as their band becoming more and more concretely together for each other. Together made it easier for everyone.


End file.
